Unlikely Heroes for Unhappy Times

Plane Sailing

Ethereal plane

Session X: (An account by Megrim Nagafang)

Hehehe – da uvers fink I can’t read, but me mum taught me my letters jus fine. A few too many smacks to da noggin’s made me forget… but it’s coming back in bits an bobs… I better scribble this down while they’re in me ed.

Anyway…
I had a bad feeling about it all, but after Arnold tapped da magical wall, wiv da magical gauntlet, curiosity got da better of us. Da wall scintillated wiv beautiful colours… ow could anyfing bad come from passing froo.

Well as we stepped froo we only went and travelled froo da Border Iffereal!! I mean, how many of da Nagafang clan could ave boasted that?? Mum an Dad would ave been in awe. They may av even fought I was on da parf to finding da Great Kwalib.

It weren’t him at da end of da fuckin’ rainbow dough. It was an Elfin ghost called Carten. He told us we were in the Magical City of Song… apparently an ancient Elfin city.
I couldn’t believe what he was tellin me… bloody mental! He didn’t attack us which was a first for these bloody undead types. Seemed like an alright geeza actually. Anyway he warned us off going any furver and so we high tailed it out of da tomb.

I can’t believe my bleedin’ luck. I got 2 magical longswords and one is the legendary Sword of da Dales, a little horde of gold and a bloody shiny suit of banded mail. I really lucked out meeting these guys… even Brak seems alright… for a Dwarf! Still da tomb warned us of getting greedy and I’d best be ready to give da Sword of da Dales back to Randal Dorn.

One night whilst camping everyone had the same dream while I was keeping watch… how fuckin’ weird is that. There’s magic a foot i reckon. In da dream it was windy and i fink they were flying wiv black wings. They see a tower in a forrest and they dove/fell towards it (Spider Haunt maybe) and they saw crimson lights (spider eyes maybe) in the dark. During the dream they heard a woman’s voice (Silvermorn maybe) saying, “help me lest your own souls find you unworthy”.
… I got a bad feelin about this… kind-a-like I aint gonna see my mum again…

Well we’re heading to Spider Haunt, da note on da sword said to find Randal’s sister Silvermorn there. I’ve kept em close to the mountain finkin it would av avoided trouble, but we got attacked by a pair of ugly ogres… i nearly shat my pants wakin up to a giant club smashin da ground next to me noggin. I won’t lie – A few weeks ago I would av run like a bitch in that same scenario, but I got me some plumbs now… i got me a new clan, a hero’s sword and I seen a fuckin great big green dragon… I is a man now. So I picked myself up off the dirt and gutted that fat fucka wiv two strikes… there were stomach sausages everywhere – yuck! I turned round to see anuver Ogre all up in Brak’s grill (good name for a diner – i’ll keep that for the retirement plan!)… Dagger Kata training kicked in and I stuck ‘im wiv a couple of feavers, but I gotta say that Dwarfen Basic Trainin’ is some crazy arse shit!!!… him an dat hammer turned that Ogre’s ed into fuckin’ pate – not friggin turbo yummy at all!!

Da next day we ran into 6 dwarfs. They seemed alright… betta than them Zentari bitches anyhow. Da leader Duncan said the Iron King Gellin sent em and that they were seekin da doors to da mines of Tethlamere… does any bloody dwarf ave an home? I bloody ask ya?? He gave us a rumour about, “someone in the town of Zazell has a map to the lost gem hordes of Dragthornor and is hiring mercs to seek it out”. We didn’t bite on that maggot though and kept on going.

Anyway, we’ve reached close to Spider Haunt… I’m pretty scared of spiders, but i can’t let em know about it… I mean Arnold looks up to me too much, I can’t lose face in front of da Dwarf or da Elf an Marvelo finks he’s more street than a highway robba! I gotta keep face and my shit togeva.

Kwalib whereva you are I could sure use the knowledge of the wild you taught my people generations ago…

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CrazySifax

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